Anarchy is Beautiful

“Ring, Ring”

Receptionist picks up. “Good morning. Anarchy is Beautiful. This is Sonya. How can I assist you today?” Sonya says in a cheerful voice.

“Good morning.  I can’t believe I’m speaking to a real person and not some dumb robo unit.” says the speaker in a low voice.

“Yes sir, we aim to please and find out clients prefer to talk to real people.” Sonya says. “How can I direct your call?”

“I need to speak to sales please.” says the voice.

“Certainly sir.  We have three divisions. Local, National and international sales.” Sonya poises here finger to press a button while the client thinks about the question.

“National, I guess.” says the voice.

“Certain sir.  National sales. One moment Please.” Sonya pushed the button.

A few moments later the phone rings again.

Sonya picks up. “Good morning. Anarchy is Beautiful. This is Sonya. How can I assist you today?” Sonya says in a cheerful voice.

“Ya, it’s me again.  It went to voicemail and I really didn’t want to leave a message.  I’m trying to keep this… You know.. Confidential.”

“I completely understand sir.  We pride ourselves on confidentiality.”  Sonya rolls her eyes.  Then continues, “SIr maybe I can assist you.”

“Do you have any specials going on right now.  I mean in National accounts.  You know across the nation.” asked the voice.

“Let me see.  Oh, yes sir.  We have some great deals trending on our National account program.”  She pauses while she read some of the brochure and then continues, “The basic package is discounted to 10% and if you are a member of a political branch there is an additional 5% discount.  If you pay in cash we will give you an even further discounted price, but that is based on promptness of payment.”

“Oh that sounds pretty good. What do I get for that?” the voice asks.

“Lets see.  Looking at the sales brochure you will get a medium size crowd of marcher slash protesters with bullhorns, signs- with your favorite strife creating remarks and a few masochistic protests that will let themselves be beat up by the local authorities.” 

“Um.  That's it?” asked the voice.

In her cheerful voice, “Yes sir, but we can look at our intermediate package if you’d like.” 

“Yes. let's do that.”

“Okay, give me just a second. Here we go.  So the intermediate package includes the medium size crowd with an additional mayhem group.  This group will throw rocks, break windows and try to get the locals to loot stores.  With a five percent markup you can get burning of local police vehicles and or government buildings.”

“That sounds more like it.” Says the voice excitedly.

“We have one more level if you want to hear it.” Sonya says in her sweetest voice.

“Okay, but I’m on a bit of a budget.  This damn covid thing is cutting into our revenue stream.” 

“We completely understand and have a full financial aid program that will help you create complete chaos on a budget.” Sonya said in her normal cheerful voice.

“Okay let's hear it.” the voice said, not quite sure they could afford it.

“This is the deluxe package with a large crowd, no less than three thousand strong, the mayhem package with burning of government property, defacing monuments and at least two deaths or hospitalization of local officials.” She paused to read on, “In addition you have a small group of mercenaries that will perform demolitions of major infrastructure upto and including; Power grid of a major city. Poisoning of water supply.  Destruction of Town Hall or any target that you designate up-to and including monuments.” She reads on.

“That sounds expensive.” 

“Oh but you're in luck, with the recent events this package has been discounted 30% with additional discounts for government agencies and cash payments.” Sonya said while hoping to get the commission for this sale.  She did all the work, why shouldn’t she.

“Will they cross state lines.” asked the voice.

“Yes, but that would be an additional fee.” Sonya said, hoping that it didn’t kill the deal.

“If it's national, why would crossing a state line matter?” the voice asked annoyed.

“I’m not sure sir.” Sonya felt the moment slipping away.

“Let me see what I can do.” She looked at her computer and in the fine print she read, “Oh sir, it’s only a half percent charge for each state line crossed.”

“And how about multiple sites at same time.” The voice asked.

Sonya was excited.  If she landed this sale it could mean she could buy that new home she was looking at. “Well sir, we can guarantee up to six cities at one time.  There would be additional charges of course.” 

“Six.” there was a pause, “I would need at least nine major cities across the nation.” 

Sonya could hardly believe her ears.  Nine cities at 1.6 million each, but she controlled herself.  He needed to get into another system to see the availability of their resources. Then she looked at the international group.  They could swing it if they added immigrants to the crowds. “You are in luck sir, if you will allow us to fill the crowds with immigrants we can do nine cities across the nation all at the same time.  With the deluxe package you would guarantee complete chaos.” 

There was a ding on her computer.  It was Chuck from National sales.  He was out of his meeting and wanted to know what call he missed.  Sonya was just about to wrap up this sale and didn’t want to share it with Chuck.  He would take 80% of the commissions if he even got wind of the caller.  But she needed to know if she could add a bonus gift.  In the end she decided to go for it.  “Sir, as a gift for your patronage we would add a paper trail implicating any of your political opponents.  And we would do that free of charge if you sign with us today.” 

“Oh, that’s good.  Didn’t even think of that one.” Said the voice.  “So, all total what would this run us.” 

“So, let me repeat your order and then I can give you the total.” Sonya was holding her breath.  She calmed herself.  “So, we are looking at the Deluxe Package with a large crowd of marcher slash protesters with masochistic victims.  The mayhem group.  The burning of government property.  Killing or hospitalization of at least two government employees.  The mercenaries with no less than the destruction of one to two infrastructure items of your choosing.  In nine locations with a paper trail leading to the party or parties you designate.” she paused to take a breath. “Does that sound correct.” She held her breath.

“Yeah.  that sounds about right.” the voice said.

“Okay sir.” She paused, because Chuck had come out of his office annoyed that she did not answer his call.  He looked right at her. 

She pointed at the phone.

He was annoyed but left it at that and went back into his office.  

She looked at the computer and could not believe the numbers.  “Sir that would be a total of sixteen million six hundred and ninety six thousand dollars and that is with your 30% discount due to the covid slow down and you can get an additional five percent if you belong to a political party.  Would you qualify for this?”

“Yes.” said the voice.

“Can we verify your affiliation?” Sonya hated when they had to ask this.

“I’m with….(Your (Meaning you the reader) lease favorite political party).” the voice said.

“Very good sir.” Sonya said knowing that her dream home was just a few clicks away. “And would you be paying in cash or credit card?”

“Cash.” said the voice.

“Very good sir.  We will be sending you a link from a secure server and it will allow you to make your payment to an offshore holder that will guarantee confidentiality.  Upon receipt of your payment we will send you a questionnaire so that you can fill out the nine locations, targets and special instructions for the groups to follow.  You can also designate the protests affiliations and as one of our specialties you can even do a counter protest to the main protest in two locations. This will cause further the confusion by the mainstream media and local authorities. Can I please get an email address to send you the link?”

“Yeah, got it right here.  It’s effinChuckyou@do-your-job.com.” the voice said.

Sonya looked up and saw Chuck through his office window.  He was on his cell phone and waving at her. 

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